Interior Image

Cameron Awkward-Rich

Years: 2015


Cameron Awkward-Rich is on the staff of Muzzle Magazine and his work has appeared/is forthcoming in The Seattle Review, The Journal, Vinyl, cream city review and elsewhere. He is currently a PhD candidate in Modern Thought & Literature at Stanford University.  Sympathetic Little Monster, Cam's first collection of poetry, is forthcoming from Ricochet Editions in 2016. 


What Returns


So now winter is a place you visit,

but don’t belong to.     You pass the time


in a room that isn’t childhood, but

does that matter?      Your mother


is still down the hall & you are still

watching men on screen break


into other men & the once snow-field

of your body becomes a flood that ruins

you each night.


You thought you were finished

with desire & what a relief. To not want


to reach outside your skin. To touch

what isn’t yours, or anything at all.


To not be a tongue in a glass jar

in an ocean.     But the pills make you

dream in oceans.


You wake up crusted with someone

else’s salt.         You become a boy


who touches the backs of stranger’s

necks in public, in love with the soft

of his own throat.


This makes every man on the train

into something that could kill you.


Don’t worry, that’s a good thing.

It means you got on the train.

It means you still have a body.

-First appeared in The Bakery