surrender

here is the fact: I fuck women and

you hate it, bred your own silly reclaimed blues

so deep all anyone can hear is the silence your

song leaves behind. in this story you are the heart

sick father and me, the fucked up fat daughter you

cannot leave behind, with a mouth so wide and

foul you tremble at what my tongue will create next.

believe me when I say that I have loved you so hard

that I have hated my lovers for you, dreamt of how

I could cut out a new skin where we all live and we

forget the violence and shattered glass, and only see

the father I believed in, and the daughter you wanted.

those days are past and I am left after thirty years breathless

with an ache in my side for more then what our blood has

ever given me. granny told me when I came out, I would

get aids and die. you told me I killed your heart, and mummy

pretended to have cancer. I won’t

fight anymore, I have seen the terror of battle, and this

decay can’t live on in me. the father I wanted died. you

are what I have, love what pieces you can.